skot AT izzlepfaff DOT com
Tuesday, 16 November
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Food Bank
So: I put in notice at work, where I have resided and bumbled for the last eleven years. I must note right away that the people I work with--those good folks who have for over a couple decades steadfastly refused to cure cancer out of fear of having to become janitors or depilators or lizard handlers--had nothing to do with the decision. They are all nice people, except for the ethnic ones, whom I fear and avoid.
Truth is, I just burned out. Spend a decade anywhere, doing [job that isn't necessarily your super-dream and I guess that's going to happen. Around six months ago, the Wife was all like "You need to get the fuck out of there, because you're bringing it home." I couldn't disagree. Well, I could, if I felt like being an obstinate asshole, but I didn't, because I was too depressed. So I just sat there like a cornered marmot and nodded my head woefully.
So the decision was made, and I'm out of there as of year's end. ("The decision was made . . . " who doesn't love the passive voice?) Although that's sort of not true: I have enough accumulated vacation time to bail on the Jesusmas-New Year's week, so my last functional office day will be December 23. I'll get paid for all that time to hang out at home and relentlessly yank it at bonkotopia.com! 'Tis the season!
After that, when remorseless January hits . . . well, I don't fucking know at all. Does your lawn need mowing? Leaves raked? Browser configured to the bonkotopia home page? Let me know! I'll probably need the cash.
What I can't help you with is help on the whole cancer thing. You're on your own with that one. Because I'm out.
Monday, 08 November
Some of you have been nice enough to inquire as to whether or not I'm okay. I am okay, and I fully plan on ROARING BACK like a . . . roaring thing, not unlike a jungle cat or a Texan. Frankly, this year has been a huge pile of shit on pretty much all fronts (to the extent that a huge pile of shit can make crafty tactical maneuvers), and it's been a little demoralizing and a lot making-Skot-not-feel-like-doing-much-ish.
So I'm sorry for the terrible lapse in failing to provide you with puerile rips on movies I have not yet seen and the dearth of stories about the places I have peed on in my storied history. THIS SHALL BE RECTIFIED! For all my snideness, I thank you for your kindness in inquiring after me.
Soon, my pretties. *pets ugly white cat* Soon, I will destroy civilization. Wait, is that camera on? I meant to say, "Soon, I'll stop being such a putz." Get lost, cat! The shit I say when you're around!