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Tuesday, 01 September
Let's Put The X In Horrible Beer Ads

[The Most Interesting Man in the World is shown. He is eating a fox that he has stolen from Polish peasants.]

VO: He will eat your foxes.

Pursuing Polish peasants: Come back! We are starving!

[The Most Interesting Man in the World is shown having sex with Mindy Cohn.]

VO: He will fuck former television stars. Here he can be seen banging the shit out of Natalie from The Facts of Life.

Mindy Cohn: He's got such a bumpy dick! It's like he has cleats for that thing.

VO: He can disarm you with his words. Or his hands. Or his alarming penis.

Mindy Cohn: Seriously, it's pretty terrifying at first, but I really needed the money.

VO: He can speak French . . . in Canada.

Quebec Resident: Yes, it is not remarkable.

[The Most Interesting Man in the World is shown playing a game of contract bridge.]

The Most Interesting Man in the World: I meld these hearts for nine hundred points.

Opponent: Have you ever played this game?

VO: He is clinically insane.

[The Most Interesting Man in the World is shown sticking circus peanuts into his ears.]

Mindy Cohn: He wasn't that rough with me. I've had worse.

VO: He routinely receives barium enemas. Not for diagnostic purposes. He just loves those enemas.

The Most Interesting Man in the World: My asshole, it is a Chernobyl.

Mindy Cohn: I got so tired of those enemas. Talk about no fun.

VO: He is the most interesting man in the world, if you find complete douchebags interesting.

The Most Interesting Man in the World: I don't always drink beer, which seems like the last thing you'd want me to say for a beer commercial, but when I do, I vaguely prefer Dos Equis. They almost never make it out of donkeys any more.

[Final tableau shows Mindy Cohn's mutilated body staring blindly into the camera.]

I really hate Dos Equis' latest ad campaign.


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Comments

That's exactly what I've wanted to say, but with different words.
p.

Comment number: 019868   Posted by: peter on September 5, 2009 02:10 PM from IP: 206.188.40.141

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