Write me:
skot AT izzlepfaff DOT com

Thursday, 29 December
Auld News

So I noticed that this month marked yet another anniversary for me: three years of writing on this thing. I went back and took another look at my humble origins.

How embarrassing. I won't be doing that again.

Three years! It seems like a long time, but compared to others, it's barely a blip. On the other hand, I seem to jabber a hell of a lot more than, say, Peterme. Peter is all like, "Check out this new app!" and I'm more like, "Who wants an extended snowmobile ride through my psyche as I evaluate 13 Ghosts?"

There's no denying that my readership has gone down. Where I used to attract 2056 readers on any given day, I now only garner 1977. I attribute these dismal numbers to a simple fact: I have become boring and staid. Those seventy or so readers? I lost them to FARK.

I've had my share of criticisms. After all, I have a "contact me!" link right on the page. And it's been lovely hearing from some fans from places like New Zealand, Bulgaria, Skull Island and Belgium (that last one to let me know about current scotch blends.) It's also been lovely hearing from my critics, including the ones who would really rather I stop writing ("Do you know what a tool you are?") to the ones who do not write me at all, but rather slag me on their own blogs (thanks, Technorati! I guess). It's all very weird. I saw one woman swear off my site (this after offering to sell me her car) because my voice was "the message." And she apparently was bummed that I was selling her short. That's funny! I had no idea I had any message at all. In fact, this has been really important to me. "SKOT! You must refrain from having a message! Because you are pretty stupid." I tell myself this all the time.

This isn't going anywhere. I really am content. This is probably the worst condition that any writer could expect: who needs a content editor? Nobody.

I may be losing it. Happy New Year.

| Skot | 29 Dec, 2005 |

Note: Comments are closed on old entries.


For what it's worth, I've read consistently since March 2003. So, surely you have some loyal readers.

Comment number: 006198   Posted by: aldahlia on December 29, 2005 02:05 AM from IP:

You should NOT beat yourself up like that. I've also been a fan since this spring when a buddy introduced your site to me. I think you're great!! Sometimes I still go back to "Outrageous Yarn", especially if I'm having a crappy day... Just for a good laugh!!


Comment number: 006199   Posted by: EmG on December 29, 2005 07:02 AM from IP:

I wrote to you once, did you not like it?
Yeesh you're demanding........

Comment number: 006200   Posted by: Lala on December 29, 2005 07:40 AM from IP:

I really screwed up the tone of this whole post. I did not mean it to sound as "poor me" as it does. Ah well! If I took down everything I wrote that didn't work as I intended . . . I'd have some very skimpy archives.

And Lala--Happy Holidays back atcha. Never let it be said that I ignore my site comments.

Comment number: 006201   Posted by: Skot on December 29, 2005 08:24 AM from IP:

May be losing it? May be?! I don't think there's much doubt there, bucko.

Happy new year. Hey, think about making an appointment to see a financial planner.

Comment number: 006202   Posted by: TheBrad on December 29, 2005 08:33 AM from IP:

F*ck em' all, Skot. You're a genius in your own mind (and mine) and you know it. Your "lost" readers probably have the reading level of sixth graders anyway.

Comment number: 006203   Posted by: Nora on December 29, 2005 12:11 PM from IP:

I didn't take it as "poor me". I took it as "70 less losers wasting my bandwidth". I'm sure that's how you meant it.

I've only been reading for a year. I'm not saying you "complete me". I'm not saying life is box of chocolates. And I don't think great responsibility comes with great power. But, some days, your blog is the best read I get all day.

So thanks.

Comment number: 006204   Posted by: Johnny on December 29, 2005 12:21 PM from IP:

What Skot doesn't realize is that I changed the metrics on his logfiles ages ago. Lemme check something...

Yep, 38 readers a day. Sorry, dude.

Comment number: 006205   Posted by: Cat on December 29, 2005 12:26 PM from IP:

I don't think great responsibility comes with great power.

Actually, that's "With great power comesh gribba baltoods."

Comment number: 006206   Posted by: TheBrad on December 29, 2005 12:59 PM from IP:

Not having a message really will get you 38 readers a day. This I know. Ah well. Happy New Year Eve of the Eve of the Eve.

Comment number: 006207   Posted by: laura on December 29, 2005 01:39 PM from IP:

Dude, you're the izzliest of any pfaff! You are def phat shiznit! (Well, if that's a good thing, you are--I don't actually know what those "words" mean.)

According to what you write, as an actor, you appear to be a talentless, drunken lout. However, as a writer, you are phantasmagorically talented. So f*** the wallowing in self-doubt crrrrap and git a-writin'!

Comment number: 006208   Posted by: Squidley on December 30, 2005 12:40 AM from IP:

Don't read the stats. That way madness lies.

Also, what Squidley said.

Comment number: 006209   Posted by: Spike on December 30, 2005 03:00 PM from IP:

Actually, Skot is a phantasmagorically talented actor and a drunken lout of a writer. That's why he doesn't git-a-writin' more. He drinks to drown out the clamor of our demands. The loss is definitely ours.

Comment number: 006210   Posted by: S on December 30, 2005 07:16 PM from IP:

Speaking as a Happy Lurker, I wish you continued *ahem* success in the coming year. For purely selfish reasons, I sincerely hope you never stop blogging, because I'd hate to have to search for another writer who routinely makes me laugh my tits off as you do.

Have a Happy New Year, Skot. And, if you can be bothered, send the same to the Missus in a note under the door to the closet where you keep her.


Comment number: 006211   Posted by: special k on December 31, 2005 02:00 PM from IP:

P.S. I never thought this was a 'poor me' post; I only thought it was as good a time as any to poke my head in here.

The gin helps, too.

Comment number: 006212   Posted by: special k on December 31, 2005 02:03 PM from IP:

skot: i've been reading for about 2 years, and i've forced several of my friends to do the same, and they haven't murdered me horribly with blunt objects as yet so i have to assume they like this stuff too.
Keep on writing, and thanks (sincerely) for the laughs in the last year. All the best.

Comment number: 006213   Posted by: kev23f on December 31, 2005 08:24 PM from IP:

Hi Skot,

Tina Kunz here. I read your blog very often and I fully enjoy myself when I do it. That said, what's the deal with that houseboat thing?! I want to do that! What're they called or who's the guy or how do you get a hold of them?

Comment number: 006214   Posted by: Tina on January 3, 2006 12:57 PM from IP:

Bollocks, I only started reading a few months ago and have remained a very regular visitor. What can I say, I think I'm in love with the wife.

Comment number: 006215   Posted by: Amanda on January 9, 2006 01:47 AM from IP:

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