skot AT izzlepfaff DOT com
Tuesday, 01 July
The Magical Elevator Where Everybody Told The Truth
20th floor. Skot enters.
Skot: I just spent two hours doing no work at all.
19th floor. Former Frat Guy enters.
FFG: I've been looking at porn.
Skot: I'm going to the smoking gulag for a time-wasting cigarette.
FFG: I detest smokers.
Skot: You look like Abercrombie and Fitch threw up on you.
17th Floor. Pinched Middle-Aged Woman enters.
FFG: Hello. You wear so much perfume that I wonder if you will be carried off by bees.
PMAW: I'm sorry, I don't recognize other people's status as actual human beings.
Skot: I'm afraid I just farted.
FFG: It cuts the perfume.
PMAW: I need to make a call on my cell phone that could easily wait until I'm off this elevator.
14th Floor. Cheap Suit enters.
Skot: Hi. You have a cheap suit.
PMAW: I will tell you uninteresting things about my cats.
CS: The odd odors in this elevator are suppressing my urge to engage in frottage.
FFG: On more than one occasion, I have used the term "homo."
8th Floor. Acquaintance Girl enters.
AG: When we get to the smoking gulag, I will bother you with awkward banter that will only emphasize the tenuousness of our threadbare friendship.
Skot: I understand. I will feign interest in your awkward banter while manufacturing elaborate fantasies that involve your spectacular death.
FFG: I rarely have any real use for my pickup truck other than commuting.
PMAW: I am raising my voice on my cell phone conversation to indicate irritation with the other riders.
CS: I give nothing to charity, ever.
PMAW: Goodbye. I wear too much pink.
CS: Goodbye. I'm going to drive in the carpool lane.
AG: On the way to the smoker's gulag, I will inquire about the one person we have in common, much like every other day.
Skot: I will make a dramatic show of being engrossed in my book in the vain hope that you will somehow take a hint.
FFG: Goodbye. I have a genuine interest in watching Everybody Loves Raymond.
Skot: I hate that I have to be civil to any of you, because I'm kind of a misanthropic asshole who imagines terrible things about people I doesn't know.
FFG: I think you're a homo.
Note: Comments are closed on old entries.
Wow, that was great. I'm thinking it has potential as a short play.
And with a little work, possibly even a funny one!
I wish I was still involved in that youth theatre group, I would make my students do that as a short play.
Sounds very like a David Ives play, actually. (Not a particular play, just the kind of stuff he'd write.)
Very funny, much like City of Truth - http://www.sff.net/people/Jim.Morrow/city.html
Wow, I love the magical elevator of truth. No desire to enter it, but....
I felt like I was reading a scene from Liar Liar Two, only funny.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! (take a breath) HAHAHAA!!!!! (snort, wipe tears from eyes)
When you have more time, please write-up a whole airplane.
Hey, wow! I'd never heard of City of Truth. Thanks folks.
Goddammit, make with the fucking writing, Skot! I just finished catching up with all the archives, and now -- gasp and shit oilfish -- there's no more. The cupboard is bare, fresh Izzle no es presente, I actually have to get to work.
Ideas? I dunno, elucidate on your clublike dong or something, I truly don't care. Create!
I've just wasted a week reading blogs of people I don't care about because it's more interesting than my pathetic job responsibilities.
that gets 12g's on the giggle scale..normally rated only 1 to 10. 10 being best. thanks much
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