Write me:
skot AT izzlepfaff DOT com

Friday, 25 July
My Timing Is Peccable


I still feel crummy, but I soldiered into work today, because I HAD MADE A COMMITMENT, DAMMIT. Japanese visitor! Software demo! Must! Fulfill! Commitment! To! Offend! Visitor! I take my James T. Kirkian dramatic vows seriously, you see.

So, here I am. Wearing slacks and a linen shirt, rather than my usual garb: tattered shorts and a Nine Inch Nails t-shirt dating to 1990. Yes. I am resplendent (if unshaven; I hate shaving, as does any right-thinking person, but I'm so goddamned beautiful that it hardly matters); I am so fucking professional and put-together that lesser employees everywhere are vomiting in shame. And vomit they should! Fucking pikers. Are your shoes as glinty-black as mine? I think not. And my trousers are stupendous.

So it was with justifiable pride moments ago that I marched upstairs to the bosslady's office (lucky girl!) to discuss today's meeting with the Japanese visitor. "BOSSLADY!" I screamed importantly, "Notice that I have tucked my shirt in for today's visit! Am I not every person's desire?" I strutted and preened for her.

The Bosslady stared at me for a moment, and then said, "Ah, there must be a mistake. He's not coming here until August 25th."

I could just cry.

Note: Comments are closed on old entries.


/pat pat.

At least you didn't shave.

Comment number: 003357   Posted by: claxy on July 25, 2003 09:06 AM from IP:

Ha. Sucker. Come to think of it, I didn't shave either.

Comment number: 003358   Posted by: stennie on July 25, 2003 10:42 AM from IP:

xoxox You suck, Most Honorable Skot. xoxox

Comment number: 003359   Posted by: 6y on July 25, 2003 10:43 AM from IP:

I'm so sorry.

Always better to be underdressed than overdressed I say.

I mean, not to rub it in...

Comment number: 003360   Posted by: brittney on July 25, 2003 11:53 AM from IP:

I am laughing as I sit at my desk feeling like shit and wishing I could go home!! Of course, hanging out reading blogs is nothing like being at home in my soft bed, so I really shouldn't complain. :P

Comment number: 003361   Posted by: Stacey on July 25, 2003 12:06 PM from IP:

Skot! Skot! I just got home from seeing Tomb Raider 2! I do not think you would like it. Rent Magnolia instead, and then write me and tell me what you think about my Magnolia theories.

Comment number: 003362   Posted by: Johnny13 on July 25, 2003 09:50 PM from IP:

Skot! I just watched Punch Drunk Love! We should hang out. I don't drink beers but I can buy some for you. It will be just like it never was.

Comment number: 003363   Posted by: Johnny13 on July 26, 2003 09:49 PM from IP:

Are you there Skot? It's me, Margret.

Comment number: 003364   Posted by: Johnny13 on July 26, 2003 09:55 PM from IP:

Skot! I am having trouble going to sleep. I am having concerns that I may one day die.

Comment number: 003365   Posted by: Johnny13 on July 26, 2003 11:16 PM from IP:

Skot! I was sleeping, and my wife thought my head felt to hot. She put a cold gell pack wrapped in a towel on my head. I slept for an hour, and now my head feels like a slurpee. Oh Skot, the midwest needs you so bad. If you came here, it would be later than it is where you are. This is almost like time travel. Do. not. fear. time. travel. Skot!

Comment number: 003366   Posted by: Johnny13 on July 27, 2003 03:59 PM from IP:

Skot, if you were to ask me what I wanted right now, I would say "an uncooked Poptart". If you (you being Skot) brought me a cooked Poptart, I would accept it graciously, cause it would be rude to do different. I would be a little sad tho.

Comment number: 003367   Posted by: Johnny13 on July 27, 2003 04:06 PM from IP:

Two words, Skot: Restraining. Order.

Comment number: 003368   Posted by: TheBrad on July 27, 2003 09:00 PM from IP:

@Skot: I bet you left your "to-do-today"list in your shorts and that's why you got mixed up (?)
@TheBrad: STUNGUN!!! Much more fun!!!

Comment number: 003369   Posted by: Anna on July 28, 2003 02:50 AM from IP:

Who are you people to come between me and Skot!? Look into your hearts, and you will realize that you have done wrong with your hurty little words!

Comment number: 003370   Posted by: Johnny13 on July 28, 2003 06:28 AM from IP:

Skot, A word of advice. When serving uncooked poptarts, the cherry flavoured ones are the best at masking the flavour of arsenic. Use this information as you see fit.

Comment number: 003371   Posted by: KOTWF on July 28, 2003 06:35 AM from IP:

Restraining orders do no good against a giant man made of metal, not that I'd try. Johnny, your Pop-Tarts will be delivered post-haste.

Comment number: 003372   Posted by: Skot on July 28, 2003 07:48 AM from IP:

Aw geez, now I feel bad for hurting the giant metal man. Hey Johnny, I'll bring ya some Pop-Tarts this weekend, 'k? Don't let's fight. And please, don't crush Skot with your great metallic hugs.

Comment number: 003373   Posted by: TheBrad on July 28, 2003 08:30 AM from IP:

Poptarts for everyone! 2 of every flavor except the smores kind cause they seem to please no one.

Comment number: 003374   Posted by: Johnny13 on July 28, 2003 09:00 AM from IP:

I'm sorry, too, Johnny. I was just teasin' 'bout the arsenic thing, anyway...

Comment number: 003375   Posted by: KOTWF on July 28, 2003 10:06 AM from IP:

Smores poptarts are only good at camping. I don't know what that crazy "marshmellow" is supposed to be, but it sure ain't marshmellow.

Comment number: 003376   Posted by: Ryan Waddell on July 28, 2003 12:27 PM from IP:

Besides, Johnny is gardener, therefore there must be much good in him.
"Compost . . . because a rind is a terrible thing to waste"

Comment number: 003377   Posted by: heather on July 28, 2003 07:41 PM from IP:

Pretty soon y'all (sweet things) will be singing "Kumbaya" around a campfire, won't you!!

Comment number: 003378   Posted by: Anna on July 29, 2003 12:39 AM from IP:

Skot! Jen and I went and saw T3 last night, I give it 3 out of 3 Terminators! It is Termirrific!

In gardening news, I just ate my second ripe tomato from the garden. By the weekend, I expect 50 or so to be ready to harvest. It is an exciting time.

Comment number: 003379   Posted by: Johnny13 on July 29, 2003 10:52 AM from IP:

Thank Ghod I've got you commenting on the site, Johnny, because I'm sure not getting any writing done these days. Please keep me updated with your tomato and movie news.

No, really.

Comment number: 003380   Posted by: Skot on July 29, 2003 01:48 PM from IP:

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