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Thursday, 05 June
Tune In, Turn On, Creep Out

A friend of mine, in a hopeless attempt at trying to introduce me to some high culture, recently sent me a couple CDs that he had burned featuring 20th century "classical" music. I've been enjoying them, mostly; they're certainly a far cry from the Fruit Bats or Alpinestars.

Tonight I was listening to them with the TV muted, just hanging out watching the Mariners fuck the Phillies out of their third game straight, which was kind of surreal. Stadiums and ESPN have, over time, made watching sports in general associated mostly with whomping arena rock; "We Will Rock You" and the like, so it's definitely a brain-whack to be listening to the tinkling of Debussy while watching Mike Cameron hit a monster three-run homer. BOO YA! I wanted to scream, while gently waving around a martini, pinky extended. It was almost like some weird experiment in generative synesthesia. Or something. So I kept the CDs going while watching SportsCenter, skipping tracks around for maximum weirdness effect.

There's footage of KOBE GOING UP FOR A BIG JAM! while Tcherepin plonks around in the air. I see a KNEE-BUCKLING STRIKE THREE FASTBALL by Woody Williams while Schoenberg grinds away weirdly. And possibly the creepiest thing of all, I listen to one of Philip Glass's uniquely sinuous ibbidibibbidi melodies while staring at a couple hockey teams I don't care about skitter around like ice spiders, until I finally have to turn the music off when a fight breaks out right as Glass comes to a cold-metal crescendo. The whole thing was wonderful, but deeply weird; like two things to be enjoyed equally but separately. You never drink a glass of milk and think, "Boy, a cigarette would sure go well with this."

With that said, I think I'm going to specify in my will that at my funeral, Orff's "Carmina Burana" must be played at top volume, and that all eulogies must be given in rap form, bellowed along with the awful din. It certainly should make for a short service, something I think everyone would appreciate. And I'm all for doing everything I can to keep the weirdness alive.

(Man, these posts have been weird and choppy lately. Don't mind me. Without boring you with any details, suffice it to say that work is in full freak-out mode lately, with multiple ghastly events all converging on this approaching Tuesday. After Tuesday, my posts will probably assume their more familiar forms of confused gabbling and loony hectoring. Won't that be nice?)

Note: Comments are closed on old entries.


Sometimes, the most interesting things happen when you mix everything up. I remember one night in college when I had had a particularly rough day of skipping classes, and I settled into my dorm room with a glass of wine and turned on some Jean Sibelius. Shortly thereafter, the guys across the hall cranked some rap, which happened to have the same tempo as the song I was listening to. At first I was irritated, but I began to slowly freak out as I realized something:
Sibelius is actually quite improved with a heavy back-beat.

Comment number: 003068   Posted by: KOTWF on June 6, 2003 06:11 AM from IP:

Yeah KOTWF, I have a remix of Pachelbel's Canon in D by Dr. Octagon, where he slips in a backbeat and some scraching and it sounds great! I also have the New Generation (hip-hop) remix of Enya's "Only Time"

Her music, while nice on it's own, is really wishy-washy, and takes on a whole new vibe when you add some phat beatz and a little rhymin' to it. It is like it grows a bone structure and starts dancing around.

Comment number: 003069   Posted by: John Sawers on June 6, 2003 08:58 AM from IP:

that Dr. Octagon remix sounds great, John -- what album/single/etc. is it on?

Comment number: 003070   Posted by: Vidiot on June 6, 2003 09:07 AM from IP:

Here it is at Amazon
I found it on Hotline, an old fileswapping app from long before napster. It's called "mooseumps". I'd guess that KaZZaa would be your best bet for the single, failing that I'm sure I could send it to you: john (at)

Unless you like the whole thing. Also, there may be some remixes floating around that are cool.

Comment number: 003071   Posted by: John Sawers on June 6, 2003 10:25 AM from IP:

You guys are right... You can get some amazing results when you mix things that you don't expect to mix well... this one time, I was skateboarding down the street eating my chocolate bar, and some fat retard (who was eating spoonfuls of peanut butter out of a jar) runs out in front of me... Long story short, we had a new taste sensation!

Comment number: 003072   Posted by: Ryan Waddell on June 6, 2003 12:21 PM from IP:

What are you talking about, cigarettes and milk are one of the best combinations around. Clearly you need to do some more of this out-of-norm mixing.

Comment number: 003073   Posted by: Nurhan on June 6, 2003 02:49 PM from IP:

You know, when you're too busy to write a satisfactory post, you should just go to some other site, copy what they have and put it up. That's what I do. In fact, this entire comment was lifted wholesale from an angry letter to the editor of the Winston, NC "Car Trader."

Comment number: 003074   Posted by: Joe on June 7, 2003 08:02 AM from IP:

the whole thing is a little clockwork orange-y.

but who needs wild orgies set to classical favorites when there's baseball on tv?

Comment number: 003075   Posted by: julia on June 9, 2003 09:32 AM from IP:

My wife and I had Orff's "Carmina Burana" played at our wedding while we were cutting the cake and all of the feeding ritual that goes with it.

Comment number: 003076   Posted by: The Freshmaker on June 13, 2003 03:16 PM from IP:

i feel pretty silly posting a comment to an entry written almost 2 months ago, but i just happened across this and i have to relate this:

on tuesday, i was at pac bell park taking in a giants/diamondbacks game. apparently francis ford coppola was in the audience, so at some point between innings, they put him on the giant screen and start playing the godfather theme. normal enough. but i think the music guy forgot to turn it off, because for at least 2 full minutes, they continued to play the song while the baseball action resumed. the fact that it actually happened in a ballpark and not in my living room made it that much squickier.

Comment number: 003077   Posted by: carly on July 25, 2003 01:24 PM from IP:

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