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Thursday, 19 June
Today's Consuming Stupid Idea

I spent a simply tragic amount of time today trying to craft the following into something even remotely resembling funny or interesting:

Phone Call of Cthulhu

In which the Elder Gods become increasingly frustrated in their attempts to order a pizza, as all the humans on the other end of the line immediately become raving lunatics the moment the Deep Ones say "Pepperoni and sausage."

NOTICE TO FUTURE GENERATIONS: This is a really terrible idea. I assume it will one day be a show on FOX.

Confess | Skot | 19 Jun, 2003 |

Note: Comments are closed on old entries.


Only future generations get this warning? What about us - poor beggars - who are this and last generations?
I'm getting this discriminatory itch ...

Comment number: 003141   Posted by: anna on June 19, 2003 01:23 AM from IP:

The most evil thing about this post is that the idea is tantalizingly close to being fucking hilarious. I can visualize Cthulu grappping a napkin in one of his ectoplasm-dripping tentacles in an attempt to disguise his voice. It's a bad SNL skit at least.

Also, don't miss out on the kabalarians take on cthulu as a baby name. Suprisingly, "likes to eat universes and dimensions as snacks" isn't one of the traits of babies named Cthulu.

Comment number: 003142   Posted by: Rob D. on June 19, 2003 05:24 AM from IP:

My money's on the WB, actually

Comment number: 003143   Posted by: LB on June 19, 2003 06:47 AM from IP:

Then why don't they just order another topping? What happens if they order mozzarella and spinach?
This is why I don't watch much TV, it's all too frustrating =P

Comment number: 003144   Posted by: Eva on June 19, 2003 08:44 AM from IP:

How about this: Let's get the REAL Cthulu to star in the show, and have him prank call all kinds of places. You know how the masses go for this reality-TV shit these days...

We could even get him some guest spots on other reality shows. Obvious fits are "Fear Factor" and "The Osbornes."

Comment number: 003145   Posted by: KOTWF on June 19, 2003 09:34 AM from IP:

What happens if they order mozzarella and spinach?

^The humans on the other end become raving solatics.^

Comment number: 003146   Posted by: Rob D. on June 19, 2003 12:09 PM from IP:

Actually, I think "Phone Call of Cthulu" is a funny enough concept, but don't think ordering a pizza's the right way to see it through. How about some sort of tech support call? Or trying to get customer service from a large corporation? Much more fitting, I think...

Comment number: 003147   Posted by: J.D. on June 19, 2003 01:33 PM from IP:

I like pancakes.

Comment number: 003148   Posted by: Aaron on June 19, 2003 03:41 PM from IP:

Cthulu is a terrible name. No wonder he(or she?) never gained any notoriety as a deity.

Comment number: 003149   Posted by: clark on June 19, 2003 06:06 PM from IP:

^Cthulu is a terrible name.

REALLY? i was thinking about naming my first born Cthulu. now i'm all distraught.

Comment number: 003150   Posted by: pagan bastard on June 19, 2003 08:38 PM from IP:

ARGH! C'mon, people, it's C-T-H-U-L-H-U, not C-T-H-U-L-U. Skot got it right, why can't you?

Comment number: 003151   Posted by: forrest on June 20, 2003 10:43 AM from IP:

You DID craft it into something funny. I just laughed for 60 seconds even though I will freely admit I have no clue who/what Cthulhu is (another name for the alleged Devil? a character in Harry Potter? the Mayan pyramid I missed on the side trip from Club Med in '84?)

off to Google ...

Comment number: 003152   Posted by: passingthru on June 20, 2003 11:17 PM from IP:

you don't (gulp, wipes fog off glasses with ectoplasmically ikked up hankie)...

know about LOVECRAFT?

and you made it here?

and you were a Club Med in 1984..

then again, I don't understand gridiron.

even the name...

Comment number: 003153   Posted by: david on June 23, 2003 08:34 AM from IP:

This sounds like something Douglas Adams (rest his soul) would come up with...

Comment number: 003154   Posted by: Ryan Waddell on June 24, 2003 10:23 AM from IP:

hook: they can't order a pizza because the take out people go insane just listening to the toppings.

Comment number: 003155   Posted by: artname on July 2, 2003 05:08 PM from IP:

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