skot AT izzlepfaff DOT com
Thursday, 12 June
I've been seeing ads recently for a new cable channel coming soon called "Spike." It bills itself as a "channel for men," which I think is fucking peachy: we men have been fucked out of decent programming for years, haven't we? I mean, there you are, trying to watch a baseball game, and then all of a sudden, "We now take our viewers to 'Murder, She Wrote,' already in progress." It happens all the time. We guys can't catch a damn break when it comes to TV programming.
It's kind of icky to me, this new resurgence of what I more or less lazily call the Maxim effect: it's perfectly okay to be a dumbass pig as long as you wink hard enough while you do it. Sure, I'm a shallow creep, but it's okay, because I'm acknowledging that I'm a shallow creep! (I know I'm using a wide-ass brush here, and that all guys who take a look at Maxim or whatever aren't all assholes, but I'm talking epiphenomena here, or whatever ten-cent word actually belongs at the end of that phrase.)
Seeming to take its cues from horrible tripe like The Man Show, which more honestly would be called The Idiot Man-Child Show, it looks certain to jump up and down on familiar guy themes: tits, sports, drinking, and farting. Now, as a man, I happen to like at least three of those things, and am ambivalent about the fourth--does the world need more butt-humor?--but it's pretty thin gruel as any kind of regular diet. And for this we needed a whole channel? Right; up until now, men have been frozen out of modern programming altogether. All that Buffy-watching made our chest hair fall out.
Weirdly, one show they are heavily promoting is an animated comedy--something else the world was certainly crying out for more of--featuring that paragon of manliness . . . Kelsey Grammer. Yes, Kelsey Grammer, who rose to stardom playing a pretentious, prissy, bumbling windbaguette of a man; an actor who seemingly defines "mid-life crisis" as a condition that begins at age 29 and ends at death; a C-list talent who consistently proved himself outshone by the comic lights of people such as Woody Harrelson. Also, he perpetrated the Geneva Convention-violating Down Periscope, for which he of course will burn like a Salem midwife. This is their heavy hitter?
I might be worrying over nothing.
Note: Comments are closed on old entries.
And now Spike Lee thinks they named the network after him and is suing them to stop it!
Is he kidding? Spike barely qualifies as a real man anyway.
Yeah, but he *was* Sideshow Bob - c'mon!
(Kelsey Grammar, I mean. Although Spike Lee as Sideshow Bob would have been something.)
Hi, I just wanted to say that I liked the way you write and I don't think that men need there own network when they have crap like "the man show". It sounds as if this network is going to be basically soft porn but I don't know any details so don't quote me on that. See yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!
More ammunition for the man-haters? Sweet! There's nothing sexier than a chick with a gun.
Personally, I think Spike the Dog from Looney Tunes and the estate of Spike Jones should sue Spike Lee.
And all I'VE yet to see on this new Spike TV thingie is "American Gladiators." Now there's some TV-watchin'!!
What blows my mind is the fact that another of their animated shows stars...Pamela Anderson. What the hell is the point of Pamela Anderson as a VOICE ACTOR?
Still, just so long as they don't stop showing "Star Trek: the Next Generation" ad nauseum they can call the network any damn thing they want.
Laughed. My. Ass. Off.
oh my, my, my, my.
I just watch it for the docudramas.
Ok, I just have to say that as long as they're not showing ST:TNG and RealTV 24/7 like they are now (or worse, going back to The Nashville Network), I'm just fine with them switching to re-runs of the A-Team.
is this not aso to be the home of all-new Ren and Stimpy episodes?
Surely that counts for something.
I am a woman, and I will most likely spend a large portion of my TV viewing time watching this new Spike network. I will, however, skip anything showing Kelsey Grammer. It is mostly the sick lure of the new Ren and Stimpy's that is so inviting, which promises a phenomenal regurgitation of boogers, farts and all things crusty. I know I'm excited.
Post a comment