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skot AT izzlepfaff DOT com

Archives:
Tuesday, 21 January
Conversations In and Around My Body

Virus 1: What's up?

Virus 2: Nothing.

Virus 1: Want to go fuck with Skot?

Virus 2: Yeah!

Skot's Immune System: Hold it right there, you bastards!

Virus 1: Up yours.

Virus 2: Get lost!

Skot's Immune System: Sorry to bother you. Go right in.

[The viruses throw a house party at which several million guests are in attendance. The viruses insist on playing "Cheeseburger in Paradise" at high volume.]

Brain: Jesus God. Jimmy Buffett attack! I must void stomach contents!

Stomach: We've got nothing down here but ramen noodles and whisky anyway.

Liver: Don't even talk to me.

Viruses: HEAVEN ON EARTH WITH AN ONION SLICE!

Small bowel: They're making me twitchy.

[The rectum does not say anything, but mewls softly in his dread.]

Esophagus: We're all suffering, people. I'm getting gang-fucked by these lymph nodes up here. Jesus, back the fuck up!

Lymph nodes: We can't help it! We're just big-boned! Talk to brain!

Stomach: Brain? Yeah, he's a help. 'More beer and cigarettes!" That's all that guy says.

Lungs: Great, more cigarettes. Just what me and heart need. What the hell is rectum crying about, anyway? We're the ones who get nailed.

Rectum: Dude, do you have any idea what goes on down here?

Viruses: I'M JUST A CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE!

Brain: Oh, this is horrible. Hands! Beer and a cigarette! Now!


Note: Comments are closed on old entries.

Comments

I think that you and Sars would get along famously.

Comment number: 002417   Posted by: Ernos on January 22, 2003 08:34 AM from IP: 68.14.33.149

Yeah, originality-wise, the whole thing was kind of stillborn. Which, weirdly, made writing it that much more attractive. I frankly don't know what the hell to do with myself.

Comment number: 002418   Posted by: Skot on January 22, 2003 08:40 AM from IP: 140.107.125.29

Do you know what you need?

~Zinc.~

Comment number: 002419   Posted by: iceberg273 on January 22, 2003 07:14 PM from IP: 35.8.2.96

Damn it, Skooter, ~stop being so funny!~

%I keep wanting to blog every single one of your posts.%

Comment number: 002420   Posted by: lia on January 22, 2003 08:11 PM from IP: 68.160.203.82

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