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Tuesday, 05 April
There He Goes

Sorry things have been a bit slow lately. Work has been kind of work-ish; and there was the deal last week where my host switched servers, or something; and also our oven died, so there has been wrangling with the landlord, the building manager, and I guess Sears or possibly Kevin's Komplete Cookery, Bookery and Rookery, which I must admit is the finest retail outlet featuring kitchen appliances, rare books and pet ravens that I've ever had the pleasure to visit. So things have been hectic.

I'd like to say that things are going to pick up here, but alas they will not for this week. Part of the workishness is yet another business trip, this time to Denver; I leave tomorrow morning.

I am not excited about Denver. For one thing, it's work. For another thing--I'm sorry--it's Denver. Now I'm sure it is a fine city (I've only been there once when I was a kid), but look: I don't know anyone there, it's way the fuck up in the goddamn ether, and I smoke. So, great, a week of lonely, friendless gasping intermittently broken up by having to attend meetings about cancer. All this in a city a friend of mine once called The City of Quitters: settled by pioneers who got halfway over the fucking Rockies and then said, "Well . . . I fold. This is good enough for me."

Look, I know, that's mean. I just don't much want to go, is all, because it is work, of course, and it's time away from the wife, which also sucks, so I'm just venting. And not to piss off entire portions of the country, but I do feel I have to point out that it probably cannot be worse than my last trip to Kansas City. (I'M SORRY. Apart from some seriously mind-blowing barbecue, KC was probably the most depressing city I've ever visited. It felt like Dante's Wood of Suicides, except there was no plant life anywhere, and everyone I saw looked too enervated to actually mount the initiative to take his or her own life.)

So now that I've insulted two perfectly innocent cities, I'll pay for it by going to hang out in one of them while the wife stays behind to deal with an oven installation, waiting on tenterhooks for Amazon to deliver me some of my stupid comic books and, as I like to imagine, exulting in an empty apartment by rubbing scented oils on her body and dancing naked atop tulip petals spread artfully on our carpet while listening to, let's say, RJD2. (Is it just me? Or do other guys like to think of their girls as turning into strange, wanton harlots in their absence BUT WITHOUT OTHER GUYS. ? Actually, don't answer that.)

So, here I come, Denver, pen in hand. (This is, of course, a lie. As I'm sure most of my posts readily give testimony to, I almost never take notes with the idea of blogging in mind. For that matter, I almost never take notes. I was once caught a few years ago by a colleague who was staring at me during a theater meeting. I was, instead of taking notes about the show, attempting to scribble down a recreation of the logo of the band Ratt.)

I will hang out with my co-workers, and nurses, and doctors, and statisticians, and we will by God hammer out all this shit about cancer. And I will be there to record it. In typography inspired by Ratt.

I'll let you know how it all works out next Monday. Just another meeting, after all. Round and round. What comes around goes around. I'll tell you why:

Dig.


Note: Comments are closed on old entries.

Comments

I can't wait for you to visit Boston and heap abuse upon it. There's nothing funnier than a bad review, in my opinion, whether its of a city, an Angelina Jolie movie, or a metal band.

Also we study cancer here, too.

Comment number: 005186   Posted by: Jef on April 5, 2005 05:48 AM from IP: 207.7.199.212

I had to spend a lot of time in Denver last year for work--four different five-day trips. Did I get to know the city? No, mostly due to being forced to spend the majority of my time in windowless basement conference rooms. Denver sucks. Downtown Denver is a soulless, commercial, chain-everything haven. But it is car-free on 16th street. If you walk down 16th towards the river, there is a really great bookstore, just after the pedestrian part ends. There are some beautiful views (rivals Seattle) nice walks to be had by the river, and baseball if you get the timing right. I think if you can get away from the center, there are some good things to see and do. There is also a great little French restaurant downtown where I had a fantastic lunch and talked to the waitress about The Sound and the Fury (which I was reading at the time). Damn, what was the name of that place? It takes about two days to acclimate. Since you are a smoker, I suspect it may take you longer. Drink lots of water, take aspirin or ibuprofen and avoid alcohol for the first few days, if possible.

Comment number: 005187   Posted by: Jamy on April 5, 2005 02:04 PM from IP: 70.18.240.112

I had to spend a lot of time in Denver last year for work--four different five-day trips. Did I get to know the city? No, mostly due to being forced to spend the majority of my time in windowless basement conference rooms. Denver sucks. Downtown Denver is a soulless, commercial, chain-everything haven. But it is car-free on 16th street. If you walk down 16th towards the river, there is a really great bookstore, just after the pedestrian part ends. There are some beautiful views (rivals Seattle) nice walks to be had by the river, and baseball if you get the timing right. I think if you can get away from the center, there are some good things to see and do. There is also a great little French restaurant downtown where I had a fantastic lunch and talked to the waitress about The Sound and the Fury (which I was reading at the time). Damn, what was the name of that place? It takes about two days to acclimate. Since you are a smoker, I suspect it may take you longer. Drink lots of water, take aspirin or ibuprofen and avoid alcohol for the first few days, if possible.

Comment number: 005188   Posted by: Jamy on April 5, 2005 02:05 PM from IP: 70.18.240.112

Dammit. Sorry for the double post.

Comment number: 005189   Posted by: Jamy on April 5, 2005 02:09 PM from IP: 70.18.240.112

Somehow, I don't think avoiding alcohol would speed up Skot's acclimation in anyway whatsoever. I think he would most enjoy Denver in a drunk a stupor as he can reasonably get away with on a business trip.

There's a great Mexican place that has live jazz, or at least there used to be when I drove through Denver on my way to Seattle 13 years ago. I'll contact the friend I stayed with to see if it's still around, or if he has any other suggestions for interesting things to do or fun places to go in Denver. The Botanical Gardens were pretty cool, but I know that's not so much your cuppa tea. A gin martini is much more up your alley...

Comment number: 005190   Posted by: S on April 5, 2005 02:56 PM from IP: 207.108.208.230

kansas city has way more than just mind-blowing barbeque. come again and this time hang out with people who live here. i love this city.

Comment number: 005191   Posted by: brooke on April 5, 2005 05:00 PM from IP: 65.26.140.158

when I'm forced to be in the Denver area, usually on some familial obligation, I stay in the suburbs. Might I recommend that you stay away from the Denver suburbs as much as possible? I may? good.

Comment number: 005192   Posted by: beige on April 5, 2005 05:17 PM from IP: 128.95.169.36

Being the Denver native, here is my two cents:

- The bookstore Jamy speaks of is the Tattered Cover. It's a locally owned Mom and Pop joint (two locations, one in LoDo and one in Cherry Creek) and I highly recommend patronizing it. (http://www.tatteredcover.com/)

-The jazz bar/Mexican joint S speaks of is called El Chapultepec. It's off of 20th and Market (across the street from Coors Field). It was a great dive before Coors Field moved in and cleaned up the LoDo area. Itís still one of the few bars down there that has some character. And they have decent burritos.

The downtown area started sucking when corporate chain shit took over shortly after the baseball field was built and drunk college kids starting hanging out in LoDo 24/7 ("Hey look, Tyler! Itís Hooters!") Still, there are good places to be had if you know where to find them.

I don't know where your hotel is, but I imagine most of this stuff is within walking distance. Check out Larimer Square for food, drinks and a great local coffee shop (http://www.larimersquare.com/). Josephina's is a fine bar to get liquored up in and though I've never been there there, I hear Ted's Montana Grill has a pretty mean buffalo steak. Illegal Pete's (http://www.illegalpetes.com/) has one of the best burritos in town.

If you want more info on bars/restaurants, feel free to shoot me an email.

Two more things:

1.) Chew gum on the plane ride. It helps in keeping one's head depressurized.
2.) Being at altitude sucks when you're a smoker, but is great when youíre a drinker.

Denver: We have a Hooters now.

Comment number: 005193   Posted by: Matt on April 6, 2005 08:49 AM from IP: 216.150.202.33

I know nothing about Denver and am full of blind prejudice but I still feel bound to say that I feel for you, I fear you are right and the fact that it features in John Denver's surname isn't helping. Good Luck!

Comment number: 005194   Posted by: faith on April 7, 2005 02:30 PM from IP: 82.172.81.180

How true about Kansas City. Barbecue, beer and more bible totin' bad hair m'sidwwtf running around than is necessary. Ack.

Comment number: 005195   Posted by: kj on April 7, 2005 09:11 PM from IP: 66.142.229.210

Aw, man, kj. See what you did there? Now Skot's going to be the top google hit for "bad hair m'sidwwtf running around." Do you think he wants that kind of traffic?

Comment number: 005196   Posted by: Diablevert on April 8, 2005 05:31 AM from IP: 82.141.207.241

Denver Rocks, YOU BUTT NUGGETS!!!

Comment number: 005251   Posted by: Jetter on April 26, 2005 10:22 PM from IP: 129.19.160.197

Denver not only sucks, it swallows. If you think downtown is wretched, try the southward sprawl. If endless cookie-cutter monotony is your cup of tea, this is the place. Any business attempting to set up shop in one of the countless shopping areas is doomed to failure if it's not a Blockbuster, Bank One, Walgreens, or one of a few other five-per-square-mile joints. The native Denverites loathe and detest Californians, who they blame for all their problems. Truth be known, the local economy wouldn't exist if not for transplants since tech companies couldn't recruit enough local brain power to staff them.

Comment number: 005323   Posted by: jshan on May 24, 2005 06:07 AM from IP: 207.27.127.4

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