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Friday, 12 December
Look! Up In The Air! It's A Shithead!

I had this hilarious delusion at the start of this month: that I would somehow make it through the month (with gifts purchased and all!) without having to dip into my sad little savings. With this in mind ("I've been doing great!"), I meekly checked my bank balance today.

I stared at my laughable, Burkina Faso-esque funds for a small while. And nothing on Burkina Faso. It's a small country with lots of problems, but then again, so is my financial state. In fact, they are terribly similar. Burkina Faso and I have some cash--not a lot--but some; and then some reckless nutfuck gets a hold of it and buys a bunch of booze and comic books. That's what happened to me, and I'm betting something similar happened in Northern Africa. Somewhere on the veldt, there's an irresponsible schmuck sitting around going, "Well, I guess I could use this money to . . . crap, I don't know, do good or something. Or, on the other hand, I could just buy some whisky and see what Wolverine is up to."

So basically, I suck. I go shopping for slinky bras or something (because who doesn't want his wife to wear slinky bras?), and then I get sidetracked.

"Sir? What size does your wife wear?"

"Uh . . . I don't know. They're really great, though. Her breasts. Do they make 'great?' "

"No."

"Hmmm. Well. They're certainly bigger than yours. These bras all look depressing. How do you make tits depressing? It's kind of incredible."

"Yes. Well. I'm on break now."

And that's when I suddenly find myself in the comic book section, spending utterly ridiculous amounts of money on unspeakable comics like "The Unbelievable Panty-Hose Man" and "The Corn Dog Eater." Square-jawed men who battle crime! They seem to meet busty women every third page! It's so weird how these comics appeal to dorky men! I spend all my money on them.

Comics are going to ruin Christmas. I can just tell.


Note: Comments are closed on old entries.

Comments

Whats worked for me, though it may be too late for you, is getting a chicka who digs the comics. It's like killing two birds at once.

Comment number: 002067   Posted by: james on December 12, 2003 08:00 AM from IP: 67.105.254.35

the "comic book section"? since when does victoria's secret sell comics? or did xanadu suddenly start selling slinky bras when i wasn't looking?

Comment number: 002068   Posted by: alex on December 12, 2003 09:38 AM from IP: 206.28.72.1

Amen to Alex. Is there now a lingerie section by the Manga racks? 'Cause, last time I checked, the poor customers at my local comic book shop froze, slack-mouthed, like deer in the headlights when anything even vaguely feminine (other than their own saggy manboobs) walked in.

Comment number: 002069   Posted by: Joe on December 12, 2003 03:43 PM from IP: 165.247.43.238

Fred Meyer sells both lingerie and comic books, but only the blandest cross-section of each. If you want anything racier than an Olga demi or last month's Justice League, you're out of luck. Does the Bon do comic books?

Comment number: 002071   Posted by: Lanie on December 14, 2003 11:37 AM from IP: 216.39.145.91

you have a very poor understanding of geography

Comment number: 002072   Posted by: 576767 on December 14, 2003 05:14 PM from IP: 195.92.168.177

That last comment, by 576767 was so incredibly important that I feel the need to comment on it. So this is a comment about that. And not about the Comics 'n' Brassieres shop at the mall.

Comment number: 002073   Posted by: i on December 15, 2003 04:38 AM from IP: 138.88.9.192

Here you go:
http://home.ep2.de/11010007/burkinafaso/westafr.gif

Comment number: 002074   Posted by: Jason on December 15, 2003 01:21 PM from IP: 206.16.5.38

Nice site - I like it!
Jane http://www.serge-lingerie.com/plus-lingerie/index.html

Comment number: 003166   Posted by: Lingerie Girl on May 5, 2004 10:52 AM from IP: 81.25.34.156

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