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Tuesday, 25 November
I Malign People For No Good Reason

I spent the weekend closing down the show, which is always sort of bittersweet: you're glad to be done with a project, but it's always a little like burying a vague acquaintance that you were fond of. You wish you knew them better. However, I immediately (tonight) jumped into a mini-rehearsal for the next show, which amounted to me doing my monologue twice and then sharing a beer and a smoke with the director (we go a ways back). Now I just have to make my irritated brain commit six pages of text to memory, and my brain isn't really thrilled about it. It complains. "This sucks," it whines. "Can't we download some porn instead?" I sympathetically answer it. "No," I explain to myself, "we are on dial-up. The best we can do is Fark's 'Boobies' posts." "Ugh," replies brain, "that's terrible. It's like buying jerky at the 99-cent store." Brain is pretty irritating, so I dump scotch on it and wait for it to become quiescent.

Speaking of brain-quiescence, the wife and I pay-per-viewed The Italian Job over the weekend; it was like consuming a generic blue-and-white package of MOVIE. As in: "I am absorbing this [MOVIE]. It features [TALENTED ACTORS] (alongside a certain [CHARLIZE THERON] who fails, impossibly, to [REMOVE SHIRT]) involved in [CRIMINAL ACTS] and [UNSURPRISING BETRAYALS] that, after [UNCONTORTIONATE TWISTS] finally results in a showdown between [OH WHO GIVES A FUCK?]" But in the end I must give it up to both Marky Mark, for displaying a heroic, Theronesque stubbornness against removing his shirt, despite the fact that failing to do so renders his entire presence somewhat puzzling; and also to Edward Norton, who somehow managed to grow the world's most depressing moustache, and then ceded his entire performance to the hairy little lip-mongrel.

"Action!"

(Sotto voce) "Quick! Depressing moustache! What do we do?"

"Go buy a boat or something. I'll sit here on your lip and kind of spaz out or something." (Notices dailies) "Look at us! We look like Hal Linden!"

"I love you, depressing moustache."

"You big lug. Just don't shave me like Courtney Love does."

"You've got a deal."


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Comments

Have there been ANY movies worth seeing over the past few months? I have a child. (a.k.a. I never get to go to the movies unless they are rated G)

Comment number: 001963   Posted by: Stacey on November 25, 2003 12:48 PM from IP: 129.106.21.180

'no'. - boomer

Comment number: 001964   Posted by: boomer on November 25, 2003 06:28 PM from IP: 209.142.45.10

I should have listened to you about Timeline. It was so horrible that I actually started laughing half way through. Thankfully, I didn't have to pay. That was the only redeeming quality.


Maybe you should be a movie critic. Or, perhaps, you could be a movie cynic.

Comment number: 001968   Posted by: Tracy on November 29, 2003 08:52 AM from IP: 24.136.221.1

A recently-better acquaintance of mine is the manager at a theater, and I've got to say that not having to pay to see the excruciatingly bad movies that have been out lately has really taken the sting out of seeing them.

I even got to see the new Matrix spawn with only three other people. Now, if I'd waited two weeks, I could've done that anyway, but I would have had to -pay-.

Comment number: 001969   Posted by: Pi on November 29, 2003 03:30 PM from IP: 24.88.75.97

A reviewer said that Ed Norton looked like Bruno Kirby with that moustache - and by golly, he was right. I do think the moustache out-acted Ed by a fair margin.

Comment number: 001985   Posted by: spygeek on December 1, 2003 08:32 AM from IP: 192.28.2.52

To tell tales out of school...

Comment number: 003408   Posted by: Anthony on June 14, 2004 05:44 PM from IP: 61.30.127.6

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