You should get a spy camera, and record a visit to Taco Bell from Hell sometime. Send it to corporate headquarters, and you're looking at free Taco Bell for life!

Wait, is that a good thing?

In that case, just about every employee of any fast-food or retail chain are CHAMPS! too.

Don't you go knocking my favorite fast-food place. I'd like to hear you name a better place to get shit-in-a-rag (comes with onions)

Excellent, Mr. Izzle. I couldn't have put it better.

The only thing that makes bad food better is more of it. So Keep going back and it will seem fine - even recommended after awhile.

It's when you haven't had it for some period of time, it starts to sound good. Then you eat it and you realize that "gee that really sucked... what was I thinking?"

I remember this Taco Bell well. Corner of Broadway and Soul-Crushing Limbo, if I'm not mistaken. With employees who spoon listlessly through the refried beans as if they're looking for the needle they just shot up with. Sorry: ...the needle up with which they just shot.

I fucking love taco bell. Mmmmm. Shit. Gimme more. Goddamn chicken quesadillas and steak burritos and mmmmm.

Employees each are
a single refried bean--
lardy but unique.

Together they roll
into a stale tortilla.
The essence of CHAMP.

i have to deal with this shit on a daily basis as an employee of pizza hut. this post almost made me cry. because it ruined my day off probably.

and it's worse than you portray it. at least CHAMPS is somewhat tangible and measurable. now, in addition, we have Customer Mania--100% CHAMPS with a YES! attitude! Exclamation Point! i hate my fucking job!

After having worked there for my junior year of college, I present...Things you can get at Taco Bell besides food:

Food poisoning from HELL. (Not once, but twice!)

A tooth in your burrito, if you're lucky. Also a wad of hair in a quesadilla and a large piece of metal in a taco. We were only sued over the first one, though.

A spouse. Or more correctly, a former spouse. *convulse*

I worked for Pizza Hut while home from college for a summer. I remember two things:
Once, some glass shattered into a huge pan of dough (about ten balls of raw dough that needed to rise for a few minutes) and we ended up just picking out the chunks and forgetting about it. Also, the manager was later fired and arrested for stealing after leaving IOUs in the safe. Oh, one more: I remember how much oil we put in the deep dish - something like eight full, huge squirts. It was disgusting.

I quit going to Taco Bell after noticing that the woman who was actually assembling the food worked with her tongue clenched between her teeth, and that I could see a glistening drop of saliva quivering on the end of her tongue, just waiting to fall into my MexiMelt. I left my place in line and haven't been back sense.

Sadly, I didn't notice this on my first visit to said location (in the food court at CNN Center in Atlanta.)

I look at it this way: The filth builds up my immune system.

No. No I don't. Goddamn it. I'm always unobservant and your post here turned my stomach and now I can never eat that Taco Bell food again. And it's delicious.

Taco Hell. Pizza Slut. Yack in the Box.

It's our national kwizine!

why on earth would you visit taco bell when there's a dicks just down the street?

dicks is not only better food... they're better to their employees. they don't do nearly so much of that stupid motivational shit, they just pay better than any other fast food place in town.

I am choking on my (badly made) Cuban sandwich reading this. I love your writing. Like you, I love Taco Hell. And like you, I don't know why! I think it's something in the meat seasoning.

I had a stint in restaurnat franchise marketing and I can tell you that CHAMPS is just one of the many fine programs tailoring the work ethics of our fast food/family dining population.

And thanks to Vidiot, I won't be eating at the Taco Bell at CNN Center.

[84/100]

Why eat at Taco Bell when you can go to Taco Time and get a veggie burrito?? Man, they have good food (sunflower seeds in a burrito!) and I have it on good authority from a former employee that they are very clean and the food is very fresh.

My unreliable memory claims that

a) that the specific Taco Bell you cite (I assume) once had an employee shot during a robbery, within the past ten years, possibly mortally

b) a junkie was indeed found dead there, date even more nebulous

It's like a little slice of any other American city, a place where we can visit where we came here from! I mean, can you imagine armed robbery of ANY OTHER business on Broadway? Sure, there's places that make more sense to rob, but is there a single instance of squalor more impressive?

I exempt, mind you, Jimmy Woo's, conveniently across the street and catty-corner, undoubtedly where the Taco Bell manager drinks.

Goddamnit!!! I'm missing all this delicious food!! We, the poor and downtrodden of Europe, do not have Taco Bell.
So basically, I'm living vicariously through you. Please write more about fastfood places and make me happy (I think).

My pet conspiracy theory:

In late '93, screechy-voiced journaliste provocateur Nardwuar the Human Serviette asked Kurt "And I swear that I don't have a gun" Cobain what his favourite thing about Canada was.

Kurt: "Well... uh, they don't have Taco Bell."

Within a year, Canada had numerous Taco Bells. And Mr Cobain? Dead. Draw yer own conclusions.