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Friday, 29 August
Men II Boyz

Conversation with my barista this morning (he kills me; he's also in a band whose name escapes me, but it's like "The Throw-Ups" or something):

He: Went to a bachelor party last night.

Me: Oh, yeah? [Note sparkling banter on my part throughout.]

He: Yeah. Bunch of guys sitting around watching porn. So me and my buddy left to go to the Lusty Lady. We were like, "Come on, let's go see real girls!"

Me: Oh, yeah? [Yes. I am The Man.]

He: Yeah! Sticky floors, man. [This isn't really what I want to hear from the guy making my coffee.]

Me: I've never been to the Lusty Lady.

He: You've only got six months, man.

Me: Oh, yeah? [I hate me.]

He: Yeah. The one in San Francisco is already down, and I guess they're losing their lease here too.

Me: Oh, wow. I, uh, I guess I should go soon.

He: You've got to, man! [He gives me my coffee, and I turn to go.]

Me: Maybe I will.

He: Sticky floors, man!

Me: Yeah. [And at this point, for no coherent reason, I raise my fist in a kind of Black Panther/solidarity gesture. Right: We straight white males have to stick together for porn! As I exit the door, I hear again:]

He: STICKY FLOORS!

So basically my life is a Noel Coward play rewritten by Larry Flynt.


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Comments

It's really less Noel Coward-ly and more Aaron Sorkin-y.

Comment number: 001423   Posted by: TheBrad on August 29, 2003 10:20 AM from IP: 216.114.64.26

Yeah, I don't know where the Noel Coward comment came in.

I'd really rather be drinking right now, I confess.

Comment number: 001424   Posted by: Skot on August 29, 2003 10:25 AM from IP: 140.107.120.123

Oh, yeah?

Comment number: 001425   Posted by: brittney on August 29, 2003 10:40 AM from IP: 68.52.187.216

Sticky floors in a strip joint? Kinda puts "being glued to the edge of your seat" in a whoooole new light.

Comment number: 001426   Posted by: heather on August 29, 2003 11:30 AM from IP: 63.227.131.126

No, no, no... you've got it all wrong.

The name of his band was Sticky Floors, and the strip joint made him throw up. Biiiiiiiiiig difference.

That's why it's never wise to talk to people before the first cup of coffee...

Comment number: 001427   Posted by: Mixmaster Mikey on August 29, 2003 12:24 PM from IP: 207.191.65.51

Don't wear sandals.

Comment number: 001428   Posted by: Beerzie Boy on August 29, 2003 12:25 PM from IP: 32.97.110.142

He didn't, ummm, touch your coffee or anything, did he?

Comment number: 001433   Posted by: KOTWF on September 2, 2003 05:51 AM from IP: 65.194.128.146

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