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Friday, 14 February
Thirteen Ways of Looking at Valentine's Day

I
Among twelve expensive entrees,
The only thing moving
Was my rapidly mounting credit debt.

II
I was of three minds,
Like a man
Awkwardly watching the Spice channel with his girlfriend.

III
The valentine whirled in the autumn winds.
What dumb thing did I say this time?

IV
A man and a woman
Are one.
A man and--
Damn, I'm sorry. I thought I could keep a straight face.

V
I do not know which to prefer,
The beauty of imperfections
Or the beauty of her toes
She says, "You're kind of a freak." Now,
Or just after.

VI
Icicles filled my long-windedness
Because I am an ass.
I talked of Shadoe Stevens,
Unbelievably, to and fro,
The mood,
in discussing Shadoe Stevens,
Indicating: bad idea.

VII
O thin hippies of Broadway,
Why do you ask me for change?
Do you not see how the fiancee
And I walk around your feet
Because we hate you?

VIII
I know wily stratagems
And lucid, clever rationales
But I know, too,
That the fiancee will not let me
Play Fear's "Beef Bologna" at our wedding.

IX
When the blind date flew out of sight,
It made you think
About the inappropriateness of handjob jokes.

X
At the sight of people making out
In the Starbucks parking lot
I clutch at my pickaxe
And cry out sharply.

XI
He sat over the freeway
In a tall glass office.
Once, a fear pierced him,
In that he realized
He'd forgotten where
He'd parked the damn car.

XII
People are crabby and stressed out.
It must be Valentine's Day.

XIII
It was afternoon all evening.
It was not snowing
And not going to snow.
The couple sat
In stupid Seattle.

Happy Valentine's Day or not, depending on your point of view.

XOXOX | Skot | 14 Feb, 2003 |

Note: Comments are closed on old entries.

Comments

Thanks (or not). :-)

Comment number: 000362   Posted by: Ruben on February 14, 2003 03:59 PM from IP: 62.166.36.19

dude, that's one of the best things i've ever seen done with that poem. and i was in my a poetry workshop where every last one of us had to make an attempt. as i recall, i wrote "thirteen ways of looking at a male". i was a little repressed back then.

anyway, thanks.

Comment number: 000366   Posted by: ester on February 19, 2003 04:13 PM from IP: 130.58.231.204

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